tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-67147832423842253562024-03-14T02:08:11.067-07:00Major HorrorThe only horror blog you will ever need.... if you need reviews of streaming movies, lists that are easy to read (in the event you become a brain dead zombie lists will become the preferred form of literature) and bright pictures...we're your huckleberry. Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714783242384225356.post-54196765778008132142017-09-30T16:42:00.002-07:002017-09-30T16:42:28.952-07:00Craig Price: The Warwick Slasher. And not Warwick Davis. This guy killed children. Who were also small. Like Warwick Davis. <iframe style="border: none" src="//html5-player.libsyn.com/embed/episode/id/5793850/height/360/width/640/theme/legacy/autonext/no/thumbnail/yes/autoplay/no/preload/no/no_addthis/no/direction/backward/" height="360" width="640" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen oallowfullscreen msallowfullscreen></iframe>Damienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17771872961082751007noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714783242384225356.post-21310088862419304782017-08-21T07:13:00.000-07:002017-08-21T07:13:47.140-07:00Annabelle:Creation Review<div style="color: #454545; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;">Dolls and clowns have always been at the top of my creepy af list. Maybe I'm just overly sensitive to the uncanny valley phenomenon. Not that I'm special, since there are dozens and dozens of doll or clown horror movies out there. </span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;">I saw "The Dolls" at a sleepover when I was 11, and didn't sleep for a week afterward. If you've never seen this, it's an '80s gem, featuring a doll maker who takes in some strangers during a storm. Surprise-- the dolls come to life, running around the big, creepy house, torturing and killing the guests. It leaves nothing to the imagination, as we watch the dolls move around, walk, run, stab, etc. Luckily, Annabelle:Creation takes a more subtle approach. To be honest, I didn't watch the first Annabelle movie, because it looked terrible. So I'm happy to report that "Annabelle:Creation" stands on its own, even as it's technically a prequel and tenuously connected to "The Conjuring" movies. </span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;">The director is David F. Sandberg, a guy who started his film-making career with short films, including the brilliant and terrifying zero-budget short, "Lights Out". If you haven't seen this, go find it on the internet right now. It's only like a minute long, and it is terrifying. The pacing, use of the dark, and use of silence and anticipation to scare the shit out viewers is genius. Which is why this guy was then tapped to direct feature length horror, and I'm happy to say that he brings these same elements in. "Annabelle:Creation" is very quiet. It's creeping without being slow. It starts off with a husband and wife who lose their daughter in a terrible accident. Did I mention the husband is a doll maker? He must have been a pretty successful doll maker because they live in a huge house. So huge, that 12 years later they agree to take in a nun and six orphans. Their daughter's room is, of course, locked and off limits. The wife stays in her room all the time. Then this doll shows up. I won't give you any more details. That doll is creepy though. I cannot imagine a child ever wanting to play with it. You never see the doll moving, which makes it that much more terrifying. If Annabelle were shown walking around, talking and showing a full range of facial expressions, a la Chucky, this would be cease to be a scary movie. (No offense to Chucky, who I love). The horror is mostly in what you DON'T see. Fleeting glimpses of *spoiler alert* the demonic presence that's tormenting everyone are the most we get, and thank God for that. I started to worry toward the end that it would go "Insidious" on us, and we'd suddenly see the full body of the demon, which, in my humble opinion, ruins the terror. The best monsters are always skulking around, just out of the corner of your eye. </span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;">This was an above average horror movie. It certainly did what it set out to do. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;">Between "Annabelle:Creation" and "It" coming out in a few weeks, my inner child is sleeping with the lights on. </span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714783242384225356.post-90643324640565220002015-10-27T19:47:00.003-07:002015-10-27T19:47:57.088-07:00Keep from the moors.... Best Werewolf Transformations!Well, it's that time of the month again. No, no, no.... I mean there's a full moon! If you wake up tomorrow naked and covered in blood, well, you might be a werewolf. Or just get the super absorbent pads next time.<br />
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3. American Werewolf in London<br />
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Great scene, great music, great movie.<br />
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<iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/UFLQS12z8K4/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/UFLQS12z8K4?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
<br />
2. The Howling<br />
A classic! Plus, it stars ET's mom!<br />
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<iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/p-IsBotmuWM/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/p-IsBotmuWM?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
1. The Company of Wolves<br />
Ok, not the best movie in the world, but the transformation scene is magnificent and gruesome. Points for tearing your whole face off!<br />
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<br /><iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/wresBTVrSzk/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/wresBTVrSzk?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
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Ok loves! I hope you enjoy! Gotta go put my stretchy pants on now..... you know, so I don't tear my good jeans when the moon comes out.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
~ Creepy Carrie</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714783242384225356.post-22277268410229229542015-10-25T09:50:00.002-07:002015-10-26T17:43:56.195-07:00Indie Sunday: Dead Kansas<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=6714783242384225356" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=6714783242384225356" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=6714783242384225356" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Do you enjoy impressing your friends
by seeing movies they haven't heard of? Then you must be an indie fan! Read on!
If you only watch big budget, wide release movies.... broaden your horizons.
Or just skip this review.<span style="color: red;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Here's a disclaimer:<span style="color: cyan;"> <span style="background-color: white;"><a href="http://amzn.to/1LuYf5d">Dead Kansas</a> </span></span>is
a low budget film, so set your expectations accordingly. That being
said, these guys did well with the budget they had. Here's the set-up:
Survivors of something that turned much of the population into zombies
called "Rottens" are living the small-town survivor life in Kansas.
(Kansas has a lot of stucco and palm trees in this story.... maybe this
was also caused by the plague? Just go with it.) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A religious man named Glenn lives
with his young adult/barely legal daughter, Emma. He is loosely based on Hank
Hill. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Meanwhile, nearby, a band of
rowdy men are living in a makeshift camp. There have no women. It is
eluded to that most of the women were turned into Rottens. In reality most of
the women that they asked to appear on the set that day were limited to the
significant others and mothers of the production team. The camp appears to be in a cramped backyard,
in Kansas. I am pretty sure that those "<a href="http://www.play-asia.com/backyard-wrestling-dont-try-this-at-home/13/7078px?gclid=Cj0KEQjw-7GxBRCL_Kq6mZSHvdsBEiQA7r8VhGs-A3b45SablCvk8mCqJW_e0P0kN_BMhqxLNIRTsGMaAuI48P8HAQ&ref=froogle" target="_blank">Backyard Wrestling</a>" videos were filmed here as well. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> They are led by Jeb, who is
hands down my favorite character. He wears a flannel shirt even though it
seems to be more t-shirt weather. He has sunglasses that he takes off and puts
on dramatically so many times they should get their own billing. It is never
stated, but I have to assume that in the pre-apocalypse, Jeb cooked
and used meth. He also probably watched a lot of Girls Gone Wild on VHS tapes.
Oddly, he is single. He is also the leader of a gang of skeevy men. I imagine that the actors who played them are the core followers/fans/cousins
of the director’s heavy metal band (a 1990s group called “Power of Aggression).
So, with the “Rotten” apocalypse essentially deregulating
the meth production, Jeb is forced to “cook” up something else. He comes up with a plan to kidnap and sell
Emma to some guy for the purpose of continuing the human race. Ew. I
guess this is what happened in a meth based economy when supply outweighs
demand. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">Jeb and his sunglasses take no shit</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Jeb </span>sets out to collect Emma with a few of his delightfully
overacting cronies. One is his brother Zeke, played by Kevin Beardsley. Zeke
only grunts and growls. His character is a conglomerate of Lennie from “Of Mice
and Men” and Dick Cheney, only sweeter. Beardsley
also plays another role…."Rusty”…a medical assistant who wears a three piece suit
and talks like Foghorn Leghorn. Just trust me, it works. At this point I have to wonder why you’re even
reading this and not immediately viewing this movie!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">There is also another henchman who
has a very close relationship with his manikin torso "Sally". In
fact, the movie is full of very humorous characters and shots. It is one of
many examples of how the film makers played to their strengths in what was
clearly a budget challenged film.</span><br>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br></span>
Back to the story... Rottens attack, Jeb's buddies
get it, and Glenn gets bitten/infected. The rest of the movie revolves
around Emma's journey to get help for her father, accompanied by some odd but
kind characters she meets along the way.... a la Wizard of Oz... NOW the Kansas
thing makes sense. Sort of.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Dead Kansas had a solid story line,
it didn't veer off into a million directions, or try to have any clever twists
that mucked everything up. It had some famous actors (for a production
where ordering anything that wasn’t on the “dollar menu” would send it "over
budget”). Notably, the film had <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0450815/" target="_blank">Irwin Keys</a> and <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3069244/" target="_blank">Ben Woolf</a>. Both are recognizable character
actors, appearing in American Horror Story, House of 1000 corpses, and many
other feature films. And they both died shortly after making this movie. Which
is very metal! But also weird. </span><br>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br></span>
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</span><br>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXOh5Q1xVAa0XI9ytsh0rRiB9Ip2Mvaf13Fy27H8lqC6AHuIBwitbq5pdVgrT38nBsqHt4ntR_y-NpxA5d7EYIle59hrUgGEgOdKE0gpuZ84Xp0NZuU1coRY2dJiqns7869FBNYcgU5vr9/s1600/Irwin-Keyes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXOh5Q1xVAa0XI9ytsh0rRiB9Ip2Mvaf13Fy27H8lqC6AHuIBwitbq5pdVgrT38nBsqHt4ntR_y-NpxA5d7EYIle59hrUgGEgOdKE0gpuZ84Xp0NZuU1coRY2dJiqns7869FBNYcgU5vr9/s320/Irwin-Keyes.jpg" width="320"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Irwin Keys- may or may not have released an album called "Songs in the Keys of Life"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I'm guessing the production of this
movie was and is more interesting than the movie. But overall, we love supporting
the spirit and dedication that goes into these sorts of films. And the writing
was solid, even when the sets, acting, and casting were not. No spoilers, but the ending was just
right. The other nice touch was that we didn't see the Rottens much.
No shitty zombie effects....a good idea when you have a small budget.
Instead, when the zombies/Rottens were coming, we saw their point of view,
which was in black and white. A nice touch. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">That being said, back to the insanity that producing this film must have been. There was the character of Emma, the
only female cast in a major role in the film. And she was played by two
different actresses (three if you count a flashback to her childhood).
This was confusing, especially since Emma #1 had bangs and chin length
hair, and Emma #2 had long hair with no bangs. Also their faces looked
different, because they were, in fact, two entirely different people. Emma #1
also seemed decidedly more pious and pure than Emma #2, who acted like she
didn't totally mind being made to wear a skimpy nightgown at Jeb's insistence.
We can only assume there was some kind of issue during the filming that
caused Emma #1 to drop out (maybe she broke up with one of crew?) but let's just
pretend that the use of two completely different actresses was an intentional
homage to Ed Wood. Yeah.... they meant to do that. It sort of evens out
by having one actor play two different roles (Zeke and Rusty). Maybe. I’ll
check the math on that later. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-EYwqwh41HKmdk48eOknCCgfaGfPBp0ayskrkk-MLPgNlE_9zGKTfOEaSrB5Vn1IOj4MTvfNuDjsY8wBtPaAa_ZFeUD64xT5bIAbKpvvz4lzUIReBnIfi2FuyH8mqcVA4rltsNluM7gCb/s1600/Emmabangs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-EYwqwh41HKmdk48eOknCCgfaGfPBp0ayskrkk-MLPgNlE_9zGKTfOEaSrB5Vn1IOj4MTvfNuDjsY8wBtPaAa_ZFeUD64xT5bIAbKpvvz4lzUIReBnIfi2FuyH8mqcVA4rltsNluM7gCb/s200/Emmabangs.jpg" width="200"></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">"Emma Bangs"</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br></span>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Dead Kansas also has a good metal
soundtrack. Metal makes everything better. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=6714783242384225356" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=6714783242384225356" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">We are looking forward
to the next film by this guy (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm5078817/?ref_=tt_ov_dr">Aaron K Carter</a>), <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4730224/?ref_=nm_flmg_dr_1"><span style="background-color: white;">Cuatro Stinkos</span></a>, a horror anthology that is winning
already on name alone. And it apparently won an award as well- the Best Zombie
Film at the<a href="https://www.blogger.com/"><span id="goog_2027021494"></span> 2014 FANtastic Horror Film Festival<span id="goog_2027021495"></span></a>. The films it beat were:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Naked Zombie Girl</span><span style="color: white; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The Wretched Prologue</span><span style="color: white; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">They Will Out Live Us All</span><span style="color: white; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Zombie Casserole</span><span style="color: white; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I would have voted for
Naked Zombie Girl, but to each his own. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">This movie is entertaining despite being low budget and flawed. Watch it to appreciate
the effort that went into it. It's streaming on Amazon so no excuses! Maybe it will motivate you to pick up a camera
and make your own film. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714783242384225356.post-22148652417232976462015-10-24T12:45:00.002-07:002015-10-25T07:31:53.012-07:00We got "Cooties"! A movie review by Damien.<span style="font-size: x-small;">Hello again my obedient slaves, you are here again as commanded. In my never ending mission to give you more than you deserve I watched Cooties for you. Only these cooties don't make you itch, they make you kill. And they are spread from eating chicken nuggets, the official snack of<strike> the midwest </strike> Hell. In case you're worried about catching them from me, I even got you some of that special shampoo...</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Gets rid of cooties. And everything else.</span> </td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Sorry, I was legally obligated to make at least one "Cootie" related joke. What can I say, I'm a sap for classic comedy. Maybe later we can riff on each other and do some "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxofWN8BAoc" target="_blank">Your mother sucks cocks in hell"</a> jokes together. Classic! </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">This is the latest and only feature film from the directing duo </span><a href="https://vimeo.com/honestdirectors" style="font-size: small;" target="_blank">Jonathan Millot and Cary Murnion</a><span style="font-size: x-small;">. Rumors persist that they may or may not be dynamic, only time will tell. They own and operate an extremely innovative media company called <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">"Honest" that "creates unconventional content in all forms"</span></span><span style="font-size: x-small;">. While I deplore the name, </span><a href="http://www.stayhonest.com/" style="font-size: small;" target="_blank">they have a very impressive catalog of media</a><span style="font-size: x-small;"> that they have created for a wide variety of media campaigns. Yadda yadda, I'll see them in hell with the rest of you. They just filmed it, they didn't write it. And since you always need more writers than directors and more gospels than gods, there were three writers for this movie. Called Cooties. About kids that ate bad chicken nuggets. Three. </span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Not Murnion and Millot. But remember the early 2000s?!!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"> The first of this unholy trinity is <a href="https://twitter.com/LWhannell?lang=en" target="_blank">Leigh Whannel</a>. Whannel is the brains behind Saw and Insidious. He is also the spleen behind Dead Silence and one of three suspects of the source of a foul smell in my trunk. He likes to take major rolls in his films, including this one. He<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2lMcDyiQZg" target="_blank"> sometimes dies</a>, which is a shame since he is one of the better horror producers/writers on the planet. The second writer is <a href="http://www.ianbrennan.com/" target="_blank">Ian Brennan</a>, who gave us Glee. He also has a role in this film. Don't worry, he dies early. And this one-<a href="https://twitter.com/joshcwaller?lang=en" target="_blank">Josh C. Waller</a>. He produced "A Woman Walks Home Alone At Night" and directed one of the many short films (The Collector) in the compilation film "Fun Size Horror", <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/826214" target="_blank">which is available on Hulu</a>. He also appeared in<a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00GTBH23W?ie=UTF8&aToken=5%7CzWjGeXOMw%2B6LNqFzgaPq5QNDRqWZL9h5WBydYSqIo%2BvukuvDdwmNdrQPmmuWTmsUkvzqc6vIx9eU%2BLDBM6gfXI2bF%2FviDGh5kJiYrL7LeZQbM8Sodlc9rDor7LnwpW%2Fj7yav9WNBY64iZfsKiASk%2BflAHCj694sJwY2PbeNO%2BgfAh%2Bc9mjCYpL0ZB7nE6tQZtGhYd7hmdRkLjElMVthIaWxlONSo%2FRuHfr%2BwZvOHsioWMW81Mk%2Fu3Xgai%2Bqz9%2Fhz6MFbQwnVOSG9pR3IQk706xZja8V4W0vR&openid.assoc_handle=amzn_aiv_us&openid.claimed_id=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fap%2Fid%2Famzn1.account.AFNQKR3KW45AJHCB3YNW7PCFARFA&openid.identity=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fap%2Fid%2Famzn1.account.AFNQKR3KW45AJHCB3YNW7PCFARFA&openid.mode=id_res&openid.ns=http%3A%2F%2Fspecs.openid.net%2Fauth%2F2.0&openid.ns.pape=http%3A%2F%2Fspecs.openid.net%2Fextensions%2Fpape%2F1.0&openid.op_endpoint=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fap%2Fsignin&openid.pape.auth_policies=http%3A%2F%2Fschemas.openid.net%2Fpape%2Fpolicies%2F2007%2F06%2Fnone&openid.pape.auth_time=2015-10-20T23%3A53%3A48Z&openid.response_nonce=2015-10-20T23%3A53%3A48Z6021374477677025011&openid.return_to=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fvideo%2Fprimesignup%2Fref%3Dpiv_signin%3F_encoding%3DUTF8%26redirectToAsin%3DB00GTBH23W%26t%3D0m0s&openid.sig=MBeEcxSDlDq5dlkV%2B8vKevG7jGXiGNC7fICQrmMOHXE%3D&openid.signed=assoc_handle%2CaToken%2Cclaimed_id%2Cidentity%2Cmode%2Cns%2Cop_endpoint%2Cresponse_nonce%2Creturn_to%2Cns.pape%2Cpape.auth_policies%2Cpape.auth_time%2Csigned&redirectToAsin=B00GTBH23W&ref_=piv_signin&serial=&t=0m0s" target="_blank"> Nightmare Factory</a>, which is a documentary. In some <a href="http://historylists.org/art/9-circles-of-hell-dantes-inferno.html" target="_blank">circles</a> "Nightmare Factory" is an affectionate name given to my colon. So, two directors, three writers...onto the cast...which is just a fuckload of talented people. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Elijah Wood- He and Waller produced this movie through <a href="http://www.indiewire.com/article/attention-filmmakers-heres-how-to-get-elijah-wood-and-the-spectrevision-team-to-produce-your-film-20150506" target="_blank">"SpectreVision" </a>. He plays a substitute teacher. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Rainn Wilson- all around great guy and actor, hilarious, carried the movie, go watch "Super". He plays a gym teacher- do you really need to know any more? Sure you do so there's this:</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Allison Pill- You might remember her from "The Last Don part 2". Also "Scott Pilgrim", which I hated, and co-produced. Because I'm from <a href="http://hellyeahdetroit.com/" target="_blank">hell</a>....but even I have to draw the line somewhere. Getting hipsters to love something terrible is no longer amusing to me..and I don't want any more of them in hell. They <a href="http://200riverplacelofts.org/" target="_blank">keep gentrifying the River Styx</a> area. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">And the rest, all comedic actors you might recognize from films and tv shows that don't suck. But they are all ultimately fodder for the conventions of this movie. The plot revolves around Wood, as an aspiring writer, Pill, as his immediate new love interest for some reason, and Wilson, who is Pill's long term boyfriend. And an entire population of prepubescent children bent on eating their flesh.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">No, this is the OTHER Elijah Wood Movie where a school gets taken over<br /> and the non infected have to kill everyone.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">So, onto the actual movie. The movie is a heavy hitting satire of the American Education System, annoying parents and their annoying children, and <a href="http://www.takepart.com/foodinc" target="_blank">Food Inc.</a> type food. It overtly mocked schooling and educators. It was clearly written and directed by people who have deep underlying neurosis and anxiety about school, and thus, it was fantastic. It was funny, and at the same time, immensely satisfying. An entire elementary school population morphs into flesh eating zombies after eating contaminated chicken nuggets. The virus only effects people who have not been through puberty- which makes the movie a perfect "us against them", children vs. teachers film. You get to watch kids die and you get to watch teachers and parents die. It was like a symphony of every fantasy I had when I was a young <strike>larva</strike> child. The plot device of only letting pre-puberty people be effected by the disease/plague/blessing-in-disguise was a fresh touch.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"> Also, SPOILER, there is no scene where they pump the kids full of steroids and antibiotics to jump start puberty. There should of been, except this is not a movie about happy endings (how could it be, they haven't hit puberty), it's a movie about kids killing adults killing kids. Also it's funny. And not just because they kill kids, it has other jokes too!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">The movie is worth renting. It won't scare you but it is entertaining. Sort of like an extended video of "Another brick in the wall" with a touch of zombie. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Three and and a half child skulls out of five. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">-Damien</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1HHMBFLPv8FMtKM34v3zcHJE1B77fex2Q9kn3JyaFlu0aY0KIZroU0u9qii-UYUSYIXmyFxlqlUsDOEGhv5B9jBSO615K_cfZXWv0OKo7LYlEoh9ftehXcLIXB5l92YpD5Vmy26T8b0Mp/s1600/Child+front+small.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1HHMBFLPv8FMtKM34v3zcHJE1B77fex2Q9kn3JyaFlu0aY0KIZroU0u9qii-UYUSYIXmyFxlqlUsDOEGhv5B9jBSO615K_cfZXWv0OKo7LYlEoh9ftehXcLIXB5l92YpD5Vmy26T8b0Mp/s1600/Child+front+small.jpg" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1HHMBFLPv8FMtKM34v3zcHJE1B77fex2Q9kn3JyaFlu0aY0KIZroU0u9qii-UYUSYIXmyFxlqlUsDOEGhv5B9jBSO615K_cfZXWv0OKo7LYlEoh9ftehXcLIXB5l92YpD5Vmy26T8b0Mp/s1600/Child+front+small.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1HHMBFLPv8FMtKM34v3zcHJE1B77fex2Q9kn3JyaFlu0aY0KIZroU0u9qii-UYUSYIXmyFxlqlUsDOEGhv5B9jBSO615K_cfZXWv0OKo7LYlEoh9ftehXcLIXB5l92YpD5Vmy26T8b0Mp/s1600/Child+front+small.jpg" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1HHMBFLPv8FMtKM34v3zcHJE1B77fex2Q9kn3JyaFlu0aY0KIZroU0u9qii-UYUSYIXmyFxlqlUsDOEGhv5B9jBSO615K_cfZXWv0OKo7LYlEoh9ftehXcLIXB5l92YpD5Vmy26T8b0Mp/s1600/Child+front+small.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1HHMBFLPv8FMtKM34v3zcHJE1B77fex2Q9kn3JyaFlu0aY0KIZroU0u9qii-UYUSYIXmyFxlqlUsDOEGhv5B9jBSO615K_cfZXWv0OKo7LYlEoh9ftehXcLIXB5l92YpD5Vmy26T8b0Mp/s1600/Child+front+small.jpg" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1XSpc_nQBlkVKBLjkK7LgTY-y3C46uLAdOdmRO-U5qBWFvs7cTbF6hdXmZOVR45q1zimqQqArDWOs-B7cS7C_BQeRabSCangK_SuQPdrqKfA5LvPTsUs9fU5sU3H05eyMyVH6kVe-sjXU/s1600/Child+front+half.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1XSpc_nQBlkVKBLjkK7LgTY-y3C46uLAdOdmRO-U5qBWFvs7cTbF6hdXmZOVR45q1zimqQqArDWOs-B7cS7C_BQeRabSCangK_SuQPdrqKfA5LvPTsUs9fU5sU3H05eyMyVH6kVe-sjXU/s1600/Child+front+half.jpg" /></a><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />Cooties is available wherever fine movies are streamed. <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Cooties-Elijah-Wood/dp/B015IVMM56?_encoding=UTF8&*Version*=1&*entries*=0" target="_blank">But mostly on Amazon. </a></span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714783242384225356.post-44132446730843572992015-10-20T17:47:00.000-07:002015-10-20T18:32:08.135-07:00Double Take: Best Evil Twins!Hey, don't get the wrong idea, some of our favorite people are twins! Mary-Kate and Ashley, Ronnie and Reggie, Chang and Eng, Thing One and Thing Two. We aren't saying twins are creepy....wait, that's exactly what we're saying. <br />
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5. <a href="http://amzn.to/1GRDkW3" target="_blank">The Other</a><br />
Oh boy. If you haven't seen this little gem of a movie, you should consider tracking it down. It's the story of two darling little blond boys, Niles and Holland, who seem to attract trouble. Also, death. They attract death. People seem to die in horrific ways with these two little knuckleheads around. But here's the question.... which twin is evil? This is based on an excellent book by the same name, written by Thomas Tryon. If you like reading, and scary twins, the book is even creepier than the movie. (Also check out Thomas Tryon's novel Harvest Home.... what a sick fuck!) The Other is on DVD and you can buy it <a href="http://amzn.to/1OH1lXQ" target="_blank">here</a>, but so far it is not available streaming. <br />
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4. <a href="http://amzn.to/1GRBpkc" target="_blank">Home Movie</a><br />
This is a "found footage" film, shot as a series of home movies (natch). These twins are not identical... but that's ok. They couldn't be creepier if they were. Story goes like this: overly eager and slightly dorky pastor and his child psychologist wife move to a remote house (of course) with their boy and girl twins, who appear to be about 10 years old. The twins become more morose and bizarre, eventually ceasing to speak at all to their parents... they basically only communicate with each other. And frankly, they are probably really, really, annoyed by all the home movies their dad keeps taking. It's enough to drive anyone insane.....<br />
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3. <a href="http://amzn.to/1XiOufV" target="_blank">Basket Case</a><br />
Ah, Basket Case. It's a classic, and you know what they say... the classics are classics for a reason. And that reason is lots of gore and low-budget special effects. This is the age old tale of a guy who carries his (now detached) conjoined, homicidal, grotesquely deformed twin around in a basket. Shenanigans ensue!<br />
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2. <a href="http://amzn.to/1RmD72x" target="_blank">Dead Ringers</a><br />
Oh Cronenberg, my Cronenberg. I love everything that sick, sick man has done. Dead Ringers is a fun little yarn about twin gynecologists, Beverly and Eliot (played by Jeremy Irons and .... Jeremy Irons, duh). One is quite the ladies man, the other is more reserved and tends to end up his brother's conquests... unbeknownst to them. Already creepy, am I right ladies?? But it gets worse....do the phrases "uterus mutation" and "custom speculum" strike terror in your heart?<br />
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1. <a href="http://amzn.to/1RmEHl1" target="_blank">Army of Darkness</a><br />
Ok, it's not really a whole <i>movie</i> about evil twins.... but Bad Ash has to count for something, right? If you have not seen this movie, well, first you should kick yourself in the ass. I mean, come on. Then watch <a href="http://amzn.to/1RmEJsY" target="_blank">Evil Dead</a>, <a href="http://amzn.to/1GREPmT" target="_blank">Evil Dead 2</a>, and<a href="http://amzn.to/1XiQzIF" target="_blank"> Army of Darkness</a> in an amazing triple feature. Watch it with your favorite twins and double the scare-factor!<br />
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That's all for now, my petrifying pals! Did I leave out your favorite? And for all you twins out there....I know ONE of you is evil, and I dig it.<br />
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xoxo, Creepy Carrie<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714783242384225356.post-40160872879439043072015-10-20T10:26:00.001-07:002015-10-20T10:26:38.264-07:00Please vaccinate. So he can assassinate.<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBJtdFm2PrK0_9W8SU9la1LLH4KRQeqLkHW74gpt7-MUJqN9YTl-NJe02-94vD6IDp4dEMi9hFpQ4tnscv-Q7W3d2jix3Ki5ydnIvWM4oke3aTCyDMagrygoASkz0r_x1iziMlXCIci0NU/s640/blogger-image--1084383255.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBJtdFm2PrK0_9W8SU9la1LLH4KRQeqLkHW74gpt7-MUJqN9YTl-NJe02-94vD6IDp4dEMi9hFpQ4tnscv-Q7W3d2jix3Ki5ydnIvWM4oke3aTCyDMagrygoASkz0r_x1iziMlXCIci0NU/s640/blogger-image--1084383255.jpg"></a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714783242384225356.post-1939255916421102672015-10-18T18:33:00.003-07:002015-10-19T14:25:25.477-07:00Three Horror Hacks (and we're not talking about Eli Roth)<div class="MsoNormal">
Horror Hacks<o:p></o:p></div>
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If you are like me, you’re an immortal princely demon seed
that only associates with humans so you can get a better idea of how to utilize
and harvest them. And you hate those “life hack” lists.<a href="http://www.amazinginteriordesign.com/15-cord-management-life-hacks-for-no-more-tangled-wires/" target="_blank"> No hacking of any kind and they all seem to be compilations of ways to run power cords through card board tubes</a>. Assuming power cord placement does not occupy more than one minute of
your time per year, I thought I would give you some useful tips. In the event,
the extremely likely event, that you find yourself in a life or death situation,
I would prefer that you die. So I can’t make this list too helpful. However, I
would like to point out three little “hacks” that would have made all the
difference in these three horror movies:<o:p></o:p></div>
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3. Alien:<o:p></o:p></div>
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Yes, this is a horror movie. Please consult the tagline of the poster for the original movie.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAUktqb6vGbQ9ftn-PwLrynno422T7m4BobrfxPE0Qtl9xJ3YKFtUgE2SLL5qkklnjo4_QRSst9QIVIFrpURBfepJMXo_y_pOBgwS9h4lFGs75Z3DOW1OOsYJ0z6AdyZgYO1gsn6ojr7iU/s1600/Alien-intro_3064438b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAUktqb6vGbQ9ftn-PwLrynno422T7m4BobrfxPE0Qtl9xJ3YKFtUgE2SLL5qkklnjo4_QRSst9QIVIFrpURBfepJMXo_y_pOBgwS9h4lFGs75Z3DOW1OOsYJ0z6AdyZgYO1gsn6ojr7iU/s320/Alien-intro_3064438b.jpg" width="244" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Its a scary poster. <span style="font-size: 12.8px;">Ask anyone. </span><span style="font-size: 12.8px;">Eggs are terrifying. </span></td></tr>
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Alien is the franchise launching film that gave everyone an irrational fear of man-eating aliens with acid for blood. After
this film was released interstellar space travel from Earth was reduced by over
fifty percent! This misguided fear has lead to a lot of negative stereotypes about Aliens and their <strike>unwilling hosts</strike> owners. For those of you that don’t recall, Alien tells the heartwarming
story of a misunderstood Xenomorph that meticulously
stalks and kills all but one member of a spaceship crew. It was considered one
of the most upbeat films of the 1970s.</div>
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<o:p></o:p><br /></div>
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However, before the screaming, killing, chest bursting, more
screaming, and butt-crack shot, there was this:<o:p></o:p></div>
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John Hurt is exploring deep space and the little facehugger leaps onto his helmet, breaking or melting the glass, and latched onto his face to plant the seed of the "Alien". Nature is beautiful. However, this whole thing could have been prevented if they had simply.....</div>
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<b><u>Made the helmets out of the same glass/transparent material that was used to contain the facehuggers! </u></b></div>
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In "Aliens" these facehuggers are clearly contained, and then released on purpose, in transparent cases. There is clearly a material that they cannot break or melt. It would seem wise to make your space helmet visors out of material that is resistant to corrosion, projectiles, etc, especially when you are in the business of exploring alien worlds. Just makes sense....but who am I to get in between the senseless slaughter of humans and a corporation's bottom-line? </div>
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2. Jurassic Park. </div>
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Ok, this might not be a horror movie. But, it does involve creatures that were created in a lab trying to kill and eat children, so what does that say about you if you<i><b> don't</b></i> think this is a horror movie? </div>
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There were so many things that could have been done differently at Jurassic Park. One thing that comes to mind is connected the buildings, and not putting the area that contains the raptors in-between the power generator and the control center. But hacks are supposed to be simple so let me give you the ultimate "hack" to make Jurassic Park safer and the movie shorter:</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMGuvGkT_NP-ZUyDUF2-THUNfEN3skwZBnVrhVuN4zPrMxRwIpovH5pVjwyEhEMODSU06R4FKDd7edgGB9wB9OysKggwLWBUkG3E6sGKk8_JwdYLx-9redksR7i6SWunjb2kyhAaaSOPq2/s1600/Door-Knobs-Best.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMGuvGkT_NP-ZUyDUF2-THUNfEN3skwZBnVrhVuN4zPrMxRwIpovH5pVjwyEhEMODSU06R4FKDd7edgGB9wB9OysKggwLWBUkG3E6sGKk8_JwdYLx-9redksR7i6SWunjb2kyhAaaSOPq2/s200/Door-Knobs-Best.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sixty Five Million Years of Evolution in action</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<b><u>Doorknobs!</u></b></div>
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When you <a href="http://www.toysrus.com/product/prodpop.jsp?LargeImageURL=/graphics/product_images/pTRU1-5745089dt.jpg&displayTab=enh&productId=3502254&totCount=0" target="_blank">baby-proof a house its important to get rid of door handles </a>that someone can just lean on to open. You don't want your toddler or dog to be able to open doors just by leaning against them. You would think this logic might apply at a theme park that houses dangerous prehistoric animals. But no, they use handles that would be unsafe for someone with a two year-old or a Labrador, let alone murderous reptiles. </div>
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Yeah, that whole sequence is WAY different with a round door knob. Come on, don't spare that expense!</div>
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1. Drag Me to Hell</div>
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This movie reinforces two unassailable truths. </div>
<ol>
<li> Don't mess with Gypsies. Ever.</li>
<ol></ol>
<li> Gypsies are one of the only minority groups it is always ok to portray in an incredibly negative and demeaning manner in any and all cinematic depictions. </li>
</ol>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9zsExEP3_Lt3RG4tdBgYpK3BqpARdt2MKEr3_sSfBzve6nIn7CGO42KJxeg5Qg_Z-zHma1mIrB50HrRvO_55hN0Lr3M6E1LCHC-EeQ-5M-7AV-XF2Y2TcxVZuWc1qBSNH8FVxOGnHVldb/s1600/gypsy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9zsExEP3_Lt3RG4tdBgYpK3BqpARdt2MKEr3_sSfBzve6nIn7CGO42KJxeg5Qg_Z-zHma1mIrB50HrRvO_55hN0Lr3M6E1LCHC-EeQ-5M-7AV-XF2Y2TcxVZuWc1qBSNH8FVxOGnHVldb/s200/gypsy.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">This and Texas are nothing to mess wit</span>h</td></tr>
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The wonderful chain of events that leads to what I would consider one of the happiest endings in modern cinema starts with the main character refusing to give a gypsy a break on her late mortgage payment. Now, while I respect this as a device to drag someone to hell, it all could have been avoided. It would have been an incredibly dull short film, but here's a way to avoid a gypsy curse and make a little extra money on the side- which should really impress your boss. </div>
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<b><u>Reverse Mortgage or other Mortgage Workout Solutions (that most banks are required to tell you about)- </u></b></div>
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The gypsy owns property in LA and is behind on the note- why not sell the note and get the funds backed up by the Feds? You can do that, usually, if the owner is over a certain age (the gypsy appears to be 99 years old, so that will work) <a href="http://portal.hud.gov/hudportal/HUD?src=/program_offices/housing/sfh/hecm/rmtopten" target="_blank">and HUD will back the note</a>. Basically, the senior citizen pledges her house to the bank when she dies and lives there for the rest of her life. <a href="http://www.brighthub.com/money/home-buying/articles/105609.aspx" target="_blank">The bank makes a commission on the transaction</a> and can sell the property again when the owner dies. Which in the actual timeline of this movie, was the very next day. The other possibility would have been to refer her to the<a href="http://www.treasury.gov/initiatives/financial-stability/TARP-Programs/Pages/default.aspx" target="_blank"> TARP program</a>, which was enacted in 2008, just to keep people/gypsies like her in their homes. I know, sort of a boring hack, but as the son of Satan I know a lot of people in finance and this aspect of the movie has always bothered them. Worse case scenario encourage her to file a <a href="http://www.fregolaw.com/mortgage-payments/" target="_blank">Chapter 13 Bankruptcy</a>, which would have absolutely saved the house. And the lady's soul. Spoiler- she totally gets dragged to hell. </div>
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I guess the real hack here is to not be an asshole. </div>
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So these are three hacks I could think of off the top of my head. Really, the best hack is to grab a gun when you think you should grab a knife, never go downstairs, don't split up, and never, ever, under any circumstances, mess with Gypsies. Or Texas. </div>
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-Damien</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714783242384225356.post-3349075312668761592015-10-16T03:49:00.000-07:002015-10-16T06:18:33.509-07:00"Creep"-..A movie Review by Damien<div class="MsoNormal">
Hello again! If you’re reading this I guess you didn’t eat
any of that food I sent over. Well played mortal, well played. This week I once
again bring forth a review of that which I have braved, a movie found in the
streaming netherworld. And it is the aptly titled and poorly marketed “Creep”. If you were looking for insight into the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlZydtG3xqI" target="_blank">TLC song "Creep"</a> please stick around. You deserve disappointment. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Creep is the first feature length film from indie film maker
<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2674307/" target="_blank">Patrick Brice</a> and it is a “found footage” film. If my previous sentence seems
familiar that is because it is often used, successfully, as an affirmative
defense in murder trials. But…while we support the murder of anyone who uses
the word “indie” Mr. Brice is doing some things right. Actually, this film is remarkable and leaves a lasting impression. </div>
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For a “found footage”
movie this is somewhat plausible, since it revolves around one character hiring
another character to film him for a day. So it’s a believable premise. It
is also an incredibly dull one. Where the movie draws it strength is from its undercurrent of dark humor and off-putting situations. Or perhaps it draws its strength from our yellow sun. Hard to tell. <o:p></o:p></div>
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"Creep" features a character that I know all too well. The off-putting male with a desperate need for attention who seems to be a completely full of shit but has a little bit of money and is in love with himself. But I know a lot of lawyers (cause I'm the devil) so maybe I'm over exposed to these types. This character is played rather brilliantly by comedic actor Mark Duplass, which is the name the operator will think she hears when Michael Douglass call 911 after having a stroke. </div>
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Duplass is not the person you would imagine taking on this role, especially since the film uses this image to advertise the movie:</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">We're an indie movie with a well known actor. Who we're going to hide in all are marketing. <br />Wanna go to Burning Man?</span></td></tr>
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This is too bad, because Duplass has a legion of fans who know him from <strike>my favorite show</strike> the sophomoric "<a href="http://www.fxnetworks.com/shows/the-league/episodes" target="_blank">The League</a>". Most people are used to seeing him do things like this:</div>
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So, if I had seen his face on the poster (or icon on netflix) I would have been more likely to click on it and watch it. Which is what ended up happening, so maybe I have no point. The casting went against the sort of role I see him playing and the fact that he was the lead made me want to watch this movie over the other unknown films I had/have in my "to watch" list. </div>
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Duplass hires Brice (the director and writer of the movie) to film him for a day for the princely sum of $1000.00. The story is that Duplass has a terminal disease and wants to film his thoughts so his unborn son can see them. That sounds nice.<a href="http://whatthingsdo.com/store/creep/" target="_blank">..but he also has a wolf mask </a><a href="http://whatthingsdo.com/store/creep/" target="_blank">that he calls "Peach Fuzz</a>"<a href="http://whatthingsdo.com/store/creep/" target="_blank"> tucked away in a closet </a>, which most people would consider a red flag. Or they would assume you cosplay <a href="http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=26791" target="_blank">Magic The Gathering</a>. Still a flag of some kind. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Menacing sociopath or cosplay loser with jazz hands? Is one worse than the other?</span></td></tr>
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Their interactions are uncomfortable, there is almost immediately full frontal nudity(almost- turns out to just be male pubes), and after watching Duplass act out "tubby time" with Brice filming I was eager to see someone die just to break the tension. But the film contains <i>almost</i> no violence, real or implied. The conversations between Duplass and Brice consist of uncomfortable manipulations that are paper thin to both the viewer and the protagonist, played by Brice. In fact, at an early point in the film, Brice does something incredibly outside the scope of horror movies and acts in his own self preservation in a logical and coherent way. In fact, his actions are so outside the grain and ahead of the average character curve I immediately suspected that our "hero" was the creep. </div>
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Spoiler: He's not. </div>
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The Creep is and always has been Duplass. His presence in this film, with sharp eyes and dull smiles, is haunting. While the film does start out as increasingly claustrophobic, as the two characters find themselves "forced" to spend the night in a rustic cabin due to to Brice mysteriously losing his keys, it eventually begins to breathe into a bigger world. A world in which the actions and convictions of Brice give in to an ambiguity of mindless trust. Don't get me wrong- I've made a good living harvesting the souls of people whose trust and belief left them susceptible to my charms. In fact, I feel that I learned a little bit just from watching this movie. Duplass is an unapologetic creep who makes little attempt to hide his nature. He instead bets on the misguided good nature of others. The most chilling moments in this film are the last few. And I would be remiss to spoil them for you. I did mention the pubes though- so you can't say I didn't warn you about that. Or better said, those. <br />
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I enjoyed this film, more than I thought I could. It has excellent writing and dialogue, the tension escalates throughout the film, and it is well acted by Duplass who is a convincing sociopath. Four Stars....until next time....taint something pure for me. </div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714783242384225356.post-74563248203861875982015-10-15T04:40:00.000-07:002015-10-16T19:07:28.996-07:00Thirsty Thursday!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Let's all raise a glass to the Vampire genre! Here are our top 5 favorites... And no, no Interview with a Vampire. Tom Cruise gives me the willies, and not in a good way. And no Bram Stoker either. Love it, but points off for being long as fuck. It's called editing. </div>
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5. <a href="http://amzn.to/1jpvcqW">Fright Night</a></div>
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The original wins here, but the remake was shockingly decent. But let's focus on the '85 incarnation, shall we? Basic set up: A teenage boy notices his new neighbor sprouting fangs and biting his date. He tries to convince his pal and a washed up tv host (of "Fright Night", natch) to help him. Needless to say, it's hard to convince your friends, let alone strangers, that there is an alarmingly good-looking vampire living next door to you and to help you kill him with a stake. I love this movie. Chris Sarandon is awesome as the bloodsucking lead, as is Roddy McDowell as the old TV host, but in my book,<a href="http://www.stephengeoffreys.com/"> Stephen Geoffreys</a> wins this whole fucking movie. What a weirdo he is, and I mean that in the best possible way. His creaky, manic voice and odd laugh, and just generally off-putting vibe make him the perfect '80s horror dweeb. If you don't agree, watch 976-EVIL and Fright Night in a double feature. What makes him extra awesome and bizarre, is that he went on to have a successful career in porn! </div>
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4. <a href="http://amzn.to/1X5etaA">The Hunger</a></div>
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Have a craving for something a little more....adult? The Hunger is about vampires, but it's kind of about the fear of aging, or loss of good looks or something like that. All I have to say is this: Catherine Deneuve and Susan Sarandon get it on. Also David Bowie. To paraphrase Gaga: Jawlines for days. Hot stuff. If you are into pasty blondes. Aren't we all? </div>
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3. <a href="http://amzn.to/1MCo4Cy">Let the Right One In</a></div>
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Oh, this movie. This. This fucking movie. I. Love. This. Movie. It does not move quickly. But watch it till the last frame. You won't be sorry. </div>
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Yeah it's Swedish, so yes, there are subtitles, but don't be a philistine. And the American remake "Let Me In" was not as good. And I'm not just being a remake snob. </div>
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The basic story is: Oskar is a weird boy with an unfortunate haircut who is lonely, his parents are separated, and he gets teased at school. His new neighbor (notice a theme here?) is a weird girl named Eli, who lives with her dad, and doesn't seem to go to school or really ever leave her apartment during the day. They become best friends. It gets weird. Then it gets amazing. Close your eyes right now and picture the bully from your childhood. Got it? Ok, watch this movie. That is all. </div>
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2.<a href="http://amzn.to/1X5eNWL"> The Lost Boys</a></div>
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This may be in my top 5 favorite movies of all time. Keifer Sutherland, both the Coreys, an absolutely <a href="http://amzn.to/1jpvE8q">amazing soundtrack</a>, the dude who played Bill from Bill and Ted, and Jason Patric in his fucking prime. My god, I want to go watch it right now. </div>
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Two brothers and their mom move in with their taxidermist grandpa in a small, weird town where people seem to go missing frequently. The younger brother (Corey Haim, may he rest in peace), makes friends, sort of, with the Frog Brothers (one of whom is Corey Feldman, sadly still with us on this mortal plane), who warn him that the town is full of vampires. The older brother, played by a smoking' hot Jason Patric (still alive? I have no idea), makes friends with a different crew.... who only go out at night.... and live in a cave.... and are led by a very pale and ominous Keifer Sutherland. You can see where this is all going. Anyway, yadda yadda, Dianne Wiest, Edward Hermann, the '80s were amazing, amen. Watch. </div>
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1. <a href="http://amzn.to/1X5f9g3">Near Dark</a></div>
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Yes. Near Dark. Is my number one pick... my all time favorite in the vampire genre. Directed by Catherine Bigelow, who is awesome, this is an amazing movie. Adrian Pasdar stars as a young guy who falls for a thin, pale blond. She seems to be traveling with a pack of hooligans, possibly against her will. Yep, just traveling around in a big RV with, oh, you know.... Lance Hendrickson, and Jenette Goldstein. What? Yes. If you are a fan of the Alien movies you'll understand. Oh, and also Bill Paxton, in a tour de force. I don't ever want to see Bill Paxton act in anything again, unless he's maniacally screaming and covered in blood. Truth. Oh and also, the creepiest child actor ever to walk the Earth, Joshua Miller. You might remember him as the creepy little brother in River's Edge. Or the creepy little brother in Teen Witch. Fun fact: He's Jason Patric's real life (creepy?) little brother. Adrian Pasdar foolishly gets involved with the thin, pale blond. Men.... when will they learn? Brunettes, boys....brunettes. </div>
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That's all, my bloody valentines!! Did I miss your favorite? What's in YOUR top 5? </div>
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Hugs and kisses....</div>
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~Creepy Carrie</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714783242384225356.post-16087076941201824312015-10-13T03:46:00.000-07:002015-10-13T03:51:03.006-07:00Happy Tuesday the 13th!<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What's the difference between a hockey mom and an unstoppable killing machine? One sells you fund raising coupon books. Which begs the question...which one is worse?</td></tr>
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Damienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17771872961082751007noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714783242384225356.post-71050843122981968422015-10-12T04:09:00.001-07:002015-10-12T04:38:04.005-07:00Lady Gaga is the Patron Saint of Major Horror<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The only thing we don't like about these scenes with Lady Gaga is that they end. </div>
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Music by "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixw_bLVUL34" target="_blank">She Wants Revenge</a>".</div>
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All clips are taken from the first episode of <a href="http://www.fxnetworks.com/shows/american-horror-story/episodes" target="_blank">American Horror Story: Hotel.</a> Lots of spoilers, nudity, and death. And laughter...for some of us. </div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_8U6EahV2wq_NJN27mFpNgd5Z0jasfnSJmD65hExN0Sg1OXWeuBZe0v1TrkUl2X8qYTomELyRvRf2EPCa2pXY7gQn51Cmz_xFYHtfs1czDIxcK3XBzhIZ5a6DtTc9kx4srwOpCkOvs3c/s1600/lady-gaga-800.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_8U6EahV2wq_NJN27mFpNgd5Z0jasfnSJmD65hExN0Sg1OXWeuBZe0v1TrkUl2X8qYTomELyRvRf2EPCa2pXY7gQn51Cmz_xFYHtfs1czDIxcK3XBzhIZ5a6DtTc9kx4srwOpCkOvs3c/s640/lady-gaga-800.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Even after watching that clip I think I would still go home with her. Mom would love her!</td></tr>
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Damienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17771872961082751007noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714783242384225356.post-39248055844698771952015-10-11T08:24:00.001-07:002015-10-11T14:52:02.008-07:00A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night.... and she doesn't have to use her mace!<div class="MsoNormal">
I love the vampire genre.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s sexy and terrifying… a thoroughly appealing combination.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m also a sucker for aesthetics…. I love a
movie that LOOKS really good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Add an
interesting female character whose existence goes beyond victim, and I’m
totally in. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2326554/" target="_blank">A Girl Walks Home Alone At Nigh</a>t combines all three aspects
(and has a cool title to boot) and is streaming on <a href="https://www.netflix.com/?" target="_blank">Netflix</a> RIGHT NOW.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Or you get it on blu-ray <a href="http://amzn.to/1Lf0kQv" target="_blank">here </a>.</span><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
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This movie was written and directed by an Iranian woman, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3235877/?ref_=nv_sr_1" target="_blank">AnaLily Amirpour</a>, which makes it even cooler, because if you are a horror fan, you
know how rare female writers and directors are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It is shot in gorgeous black and white, and looks like a Fellini film,
it is bleak and beautiful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s Iranian,
so yes, there are subtitles, but put on your big kid pants and deal with
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know you can read.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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The story takes place in the mythical Persian town of Bad
City (interesting side note, it was actually filmed in California, as I imagine
it might have been difficult for an Iranian woman to film a vampire movie in
Iran).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Aresh is a young man, working a
shit job, and taking care of his junkie father.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>His mother is dead.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His father
owes money to a local dealer/pimp, who breaks absolutely no stereotypes: he
sports grade-A douchebag facial hair, wears a track suit, has a tattoo that
says “Sex” across his chest, and has an apartment filled with fish tanks,
dumbbells, a drum set and suitcases full of drugs and cash.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKgNHU-KH80qRPVWeExfTDHiHDrGiavm05kDViPZtvleH6TAL9ohp2dZ7P5kQli348NbtXjMPGlSc4xwFISko_IrYwLJ9U4ciIrokBBn68WQbe4D50_Io5Er7dCp5fihsG2GxsafPc19Ou/s1600/dd.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKgNHU-KH80qRPVWeExfTDHiHDrGiavm05kDViPZtvleH6TAL9ohp2dZ7P5kQli348NbtXjMPGlSc4xwFISko_IrYwLJ9U4ciIrokBBn68WQbe4D50_Io5Er7dCp5fihsG2GxsafPc19Ou/s1600/dd.jpeg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dominic Rains, following the rule that every drug dealer must own a track suit</td></tr>
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</span>He’s a real piece of shit who we see smacking
women around and making nasty threats to Aresh and his dad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The pimp takes Aresh’s beloved car when his
father can’t pay his debt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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Also wandering around in the gloom of Bad City is a young
woman in a hijab, dressed all in black.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The pimp picks her up, and…. Let’s just say the scene is quite
satisfying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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I don’t want to give it all away, because you should really
watch this, but I will say that the paths of Aresh and the young women cross,
and it doesn’t unfold exactly how you’d expect.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There are elements of horror, along with a sweetly romantic vibe, and a
kick-ass soundtrack of Persian pop music.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It made me think just briefly of <a href="http://www.lettherightoneinmovie.com/" target="_blank">Let The Right One In</a>, with older
protagonists.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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So, let’s review…. Vampires, cool artsy cinematography, good
music, female writer/director, and you get to impress your friends by telling
them you watched a foreign film! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s
not super gory so if that’s a must for you, then grow up, take a night off from
straight up gore for gore’s sake, and watch it anyway.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did I mention it’s on <a href="https://www.netflix.com/?" target="_blank">Netflix</a>? No excuses. <o:p></o:p></div>
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~Creepy Carrie <o:p></o:p></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714783242384225356.post-74897183545891954012015-10-10T07:34:00.000-07:002015-10-11T14:55:46.254-07:00"Dark Was The Night" review (First Horror Movie Made that was written by Yoda)<div class="MsoNormal">
Hello again Mortals. And<a href="http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/omen/images/4/4e/Original_DeadJackal.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20120813195859" target="_blank"> hi Mom,</a> thanks for reading! This
week I have subjected myself to the streaming movie “<a href="http://amzn.to/1Lf0VSf" target="_blank">Dark Was the Nigh</a>t” (aka “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNj2BXW852g" target="_blank">PretentiousWas the Title</a>”). This is pretty much a direct to video creature
feature. Which, of course, makes me think of my lovely mother once more. <o:p></o:p></div>
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This movie was directed by<a href="http://www.hellerjack.com/" target="_blank"> Jack Heller</a>, who appears to have
an awesome life. He is producing the soon to be released “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ZbwtHi-KSE" target="_blank">Bone Tomahawk</a>”
horror-western staring Kurt Russel, he has directed some Miley Cyrus videos,
and he does not appear to like being tied to a chair while I throw my toenail clippings at him- sour puss! <o:p></o:p></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizaLOViCo4v9CORrFnTiVWjHbSMIVl5pkSHHI3HnBQbhUtkBcblNILy_vdZfYJnA6AaBGbp9R5QFobRxFT-lG6VIolOE6hq3_-bUZBc7Wb-_WsKHzUe7yWTkK7RlOyQjhXc8lMEPU5OA0/s1600/MartinKeamy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="111" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizaLOViCo4v9CORrFnTiVWjHbSMIVl5pkSHHI3HnBQbhUtkBcblNILy_vdZfYJnA6AaBGbp9R5QFobRxFT-lG6VIolOE6hq3_-bUZBc7Wb-_WsKHzUe7yWTkK7RlOyQjhXc8lMEPU5OA0/s200/MartinKeamy.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> Call me "Keamy". </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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This was his second feature film and it was a good one. He
clearly has a presence in the business, as he is able to capture some fairly well-known
actors for a low budget film. The lead is played by <s>Martin Keamy</s> Kevin
Durand. Durand is somehow the protagonist, which makes little sense, since one
look into his cold dark eyes tells you that you are looking at a killer who
feels nothing. </div>
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In related news, Durand played a mercenary on Lost a little too
well and whenever I see him in anything else, I can only see that psychopath
Keamy. And I love it. </div>
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However, since this roles does call upon him to kill
SOMETHING, I can buy him as the lead. There is a subplot about his wife and him being separated and one of their sons having died. Probably because
Keamy killed him. That’s what Keamy does, he kills your children. It’s a
standard horror sub-plot that exists only to make you feel a little more dread.
It would be nice if one of these films had a subplot about a character auditioning
for a local production of Grease or something. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The other major role is played by Lukas Haas, the kid from
Witness.</div>
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<a name='more'></a><br /></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4nOqnMVrYJ7-V8Z-vp7IOwMOdiIxzx88ZVwaM8zdxnU4yrlaULaqnxUsCArYOHLodq5gM6G7NSzuZEhCDIXIaxvr7uNbRoSVfbD68iRfOGPOhOi85U3j73M47kaw8yawarAby0FGX330/s1600/witness.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4nOqnMVrYJ7-V8Z-vp7IOwMOdiIxzx88ZVwaM8zdxnU4yrlaULaqnxUsCArYOHLodq5gM6G7NSzuZEhCDIXIaxvr7uNbRoSVfbD68iRfOGPOhOi85U3j73M47kaw8yawarAby0FGX330/s200/witness.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I like to watch. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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I love movies starring Haas, because it allows me to pretend that he
is still playing that role from Witness and whatever movie he is in is actually
a sequel to Witness. It usually works out that the movie could be a sequel. For
a while I was wondering if the creature in the woods was actually Kelly
McGillis- and frankly it could have been. Would have saved them the $50.00 they
spent on CGI.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixswH40Qs0kD_jJR68nAelJWh4NP_kebfQJad0fPUg3lwNw4ikLBxEPf5ixML4yvtRIUiQCCTwmcwcWsws3abCNptKsiOzf6SuR8onzPtg4h-O8jeaoKSN3ruHFc2TlHxKwzMih415qZ8/s1600/kelly.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixswH40Qs0kD_jJR68nAelJWh4NP_kebfQJad0fPUg3lwNw4ikLBxEPf5ixML4yvtRIUiQCCTwmcwcWsws3abCNptKsiOzf6SuR8onzPtg4h-O8jeaoKSN3ruHFc2TlHxKwzMih415qZ8/s200/kelly.jpg" width="137" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">McGillis (This feels too mean)</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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So the movie….was well directed and well-acted. It couldn’t
decide what tone it was going to take, whether it would be overly dark, or funny, and instead it settled for neither. It has a lot of comedic horror elements bubbling at the surface, that never got out. The opening scene has <a href="http://www.cc.com/video-clips/y340ro/-midnight-with-chris-hardwick-best-of-steve-agee" target="_blank">Steve Agee</a>, and the same producer as <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2274570/" target="_blank">Bad Milo</a>, so I was hoping for blood and laughter. Instead I
got blood and a subplot about a dead kid. Which is pretty funny in and of
itself, so I guess it was a push. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Heller uses a “Jaws"-like approach to the “creature”. We
never get a really good look at it for the majority of the movie (which would
be ideal for a Kelly McGillis role). The movie begins with some deep woods
loggers (lead by Paul Agee) who encounter something sinister and hungry in the
woods. The nearby town begins to experience strange occurrences, all of the
animals leave the area, and the local production of Grease is cancelled. The
local police, played by Haas and Durand, respond to a call about missing horses
from a local rancher. They more or less imply that the rancher lost them. They seem annoyed that they were called in investigate a crime at all, because it might distract them from looking mournfully off camera for a moment. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPqcFbInwdr1flucoHfdC2461aE24SANPz8Vga5J6KjddoyrMADOEBldColJGUMjs3fkCiWyKBm8JlprPjUy6BKS09_-4ZBW7lk-EGjy_hMMyamnyLEEiF6JhcoSXFprBGQpgRLJFbkVQ/s1600/DarkWasTheNight_Still6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="199" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPqcFbInwdr1flucoHfdC2461aE24SANPz8Vga5J6KjddoyrMADOEBldColJGUMjs3fkCiWyKBm8JlprPjUy6BKS09_-4ZBW7lk-EGjy_hMMyamnyLEEiF6JhcoSXFprBGQpgRLJFbkVQ/s320/DarkWasTheNight_Still6.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We're introspective! Please stop bothering us with crimes. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Slowly but surely, sightings of the creature occur, footprints are
found, and eventually a group of hunters are attacked and slaughtered. Because
irony. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The film culminates with the entire town locked in a church
as they prepare to fend off the attacks of this creature, which may or may not
be the physical embodiment of an evil spirit. Because metaphor.</div>
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The creature can be seen in fleeting glimpses,
but it is mostly imagined after we are left looking at the carnage it leaves
behind. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Despite my snark (which is not a reference to a demon penis.
Or maybe it is…) this movie was very well shot and was quite enjoyable to
watch. The director has cinematography skills and the decision to not
showcase the creature directly (until the end) was a good one. The
climax of the movie takes place in a church and delivered a satisfying ending. Overall, I would give it three stars.<br />
<o:p></o:p></div>
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Damienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17771872961082751007noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714783242384225356.post-82973373793143279552015-10-09T04:47:00.000-07:002015-10-09T12:47:36.935-07:00Who's a good Zuul?!!! You are! You are!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="fb-like" data-href="https://www.facebook.com/#!/Major-Horror-459056694281962/timeline/" data-layout="standard" data-action="like" data-show-faces="true" data-share="true"></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714783242384225356.post-64231542236218824282015-10-07T18:36:00.001-07:002015-10-11T15:03:10.482-07:00There's....something on the wing!Is there anything more terrifying than hurtling through the air at unnaturally high speeds, while encased in a claustrophobia-inducing, metal sky-coffin that's full of strangers and their disgusting germs? If your palms started sweating just reading that, well then, read on, my brothers and sisters in aerophobia! Here are the top 5 movies you should NOT watch right before you fly to that family family reunion in the tiniest commercial jet you've ever seen...<br />
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5. <a href="http://amzn.to/1Ovah0J">Twilight Zone</a><br />
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The monster on the wing is a classic! In fact, the original episode "<a href="http://amzn.to/1Lf1KdP">Nightmare at 20,000 Feet</a>", which first aired in 1963 (and starring William Shatner, natch!) is available in it's entirety online. If you haven't seen this gem, it totally holds up, cheesy monster effects and all. Plus, it's just fun to hear Shatner say "there's some..thing..on the wing!" I mean, how many times has that been parodied? It's a pop-culture must-see....unless of course, you are flying anytime soon. 20 years later, it was remade as a segment of the <a href="http://amzn.to/1Ova7Gs">Twilight Zone Movie</a>, with John Lithgow in the Shatner role. Equally good... watch 'em both! Then don't travel by anything airborne for the next 5 years!<br />
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4. <a href="http://amzn.to/1Ovagtz">Fight Club</a><br />
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Not a horror movie, I know, but when Edward Norton's character imagines the midair collision, it's everything horrifying you ever picture when the flight attendant reviews the safety procedures.... <br />
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3. <a href="http://amzn.to/1VMO7aT">Red Eye</a><br />
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One of the worst parts of flying is wondering what kind of weirdo you'll be stuck touching shoulders and making awkward small talk with while you take-off toward certain doom. But even the smelliest, nosiest, drunkest plane neighbor has nothing on Rachael McAdam's murderous flight mate!<br />
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2. <a href="http://amzn.to/1VMOdPJ">World War Z</a><br />
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Snakes on a plane? Forget that bullshit. ZOMBIES on a plane... now THAT'S scary!<br />
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1. <a href="http://amzn.to/1K2J67h">Final Destination</a><br />
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Really. I mean, really. Yes, there have been a million sequels to this, and lots of rip offs.... but I hold this scene up as one of the most terrifying scenes in any movie I've scene. This shit feels REAL. Don't watch it unless you want to think about it...every time you see an airplane.<br />
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And there you go, my creepy compadres! Enjoy your flight!
~Creepy CarrieUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714783242384225356.post-45853502376182236602015-10-06T18:13:00.000-07:002015-10-11T15:04:07.835-07:00The Evolution of Jason Voorhees (take that, Creationists!)Darwin would be proud. And if he were alive, he would be dead. Likely killed while having sex. By <a href="http://amzn.to/1VMOhis">Jason Voorhees</a>. Which may be a metaphor for evolution and oh my god, time is a wheel.
Check it out!
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<a href="http://images.halloweencostumes.com/infographics/Evolution-of-Jason-Infographic.png"><img alt=" The Evolution of Jason Voorhees" border="0" src="http://images.halloweencostumes.com/infographics/Evolution-of-Jason-Infographic.png" title="The Evolution of Jason Voorhees" /></a><br />Image Created by <a href="http://www.halloweencostumes.com/">HalloweenCostumes.com</a></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714783242384225356.post-985650058991161572015-10-05T19:20:00.001-07:002015-10-11T15:11:53.756-07:00"Come Back To Me" Review by Damien<div class="MsoNormal">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Come Back To Me"- That's not what she said</td></tr>
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Hello faithful subjects. If you are reading this you are not
dead and are still temporarily useful to your dark master. Don’t forget to <a href="https://www.facebook.com/Major-Horror-459056694281962/timeline/" target="_blank">like me onFacebook</a>, or, alternatively, don’t forget to scratch my name into your
forehead in order to earn yourself a better place in hell. This week I dove
deep into the abyss of streaming horror on <a href="http://www.netflix.com/watch/80011540?trackId=13752289&tctx=0%252C0%252C14e241dcbe664de1b37bc2732c899a75ea469a92%253A069ebe9ee9c500ba6ccd10d465c7c855c706337c" target="_blank">Netflix</a> and Amazon and came out with an apple
shaped baby's head called “<a href="http://amzn.to/1Lf2zDz">Come Back To Me</a>”. And in case that sentence contained
too much information, I would like to emphasize that I am bobbing for baby’s
heads, not apples. Because I’m the frigg’n devil’s son. Very evil, very dark.
If this offends you, you’re racist. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Come Back
To Me is a 2014 movie adapted and directed by Paul Leyden, who we’ve never heard
of either, but as you can see, he is very pretty. For now. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Paul Leyden's <a href="http://www.adultswim.com/videos/your-pretty-face-is-going-to-hell/" target="_blank">Pretty Face is going to hell</a></td></tr>
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It was based on a
<a href="http://amzn.to/1VMOGBw">book</a> by…wait for it…wait for it…Wrath James White. Yes, his name is Wrath. And
he is black, and a professional kickboxer.
Also, his name is Wrath. He is better than you in every way. And he is a pretty <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Wrath-James-White/e/B003TT0O78" target="_blank">fantastic writer.</a> <o:p></o:p></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYNF1iY0ZZNSSLQtyyS_a31AN1chul6LH6e2ybx8EKSvOGdX0K2yS-BzUr3hA3ptiYfk5ydFqKU3hiCRIjmYV5FkIOXcWzJ2Se8d_IVSolKZUZYLotAeLFKuiuNqnTFzevYNm7gj3-h3Wn/s1600/fightphoto.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYNF1iY0ZZNSSLQtyyS_a31AN1chul6LH6e2ybx8EKSvOGdX0K2yS-BzUr3hA3ptiYfk5ydFqKU3hiCRIjmYV5FkIOXcWzJ2Se8d_IVSolKZUZYLotAeLFKuiuNqnTFzevYNm7gj3-h3Wn/s200/fightphoto.jpg" title="James Wrath White" width="152" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Wrath James White. He ain't afraid of no ghost. </td></tr>
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The movie
opens with a profoundly disturbing scene that is essentially the antithesis of
every Disney film; it opens with a mother being saved from certain death. After
that, the movie takes the look and tone of your basic cinemax softcore movie.
Keep your pants on though, there is none of that nonsense (although one of the movie's <a href="http://www.imdb.com/company/co0038405/?ref_=ttco_co_3" target="_blank">production companies </a> IS a porno studio). The director is a
veteran of soap opera acting, and shoots many scenes in the same style. It is
not too off-putting and works with the subject matter. The sinister content of the film creates a great contrast to the filmography. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The film
centers on a woman who becomes pregnant despite her boyfriend being sterile. You
are left to wonder if he is “<a href="http://amzn.to/1R65DFB" target="_blank">gaslighting</a>” her, if she carrying a demon seed,
or if this is a retelling of the accursed Christmas Tale. Slowly but surely she begins to experience
lost time, disruptive sleep, and night terrors. The twist…the movie is an infomercial
for a CPAP machine. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Kidding…there
is a neighbor, a neighbor who gives a dark, stalker vibe. I instantly related
to him. As her disturbances increase, so does his presence. The story and
disruptions weave, brilliantly, to a conclusion that took me by surprise and
left me feeling elated that something had happened that was darker than what I
had anticipated. The ending was not a cheap twist, but a brilliant and
logical culmination of the story. This movie stuck with me, and when you’re
an eternal embodiment of evil, that’s saying something. <o:p></o:p></div>
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This is one of the better streaming surprises (a sentence seldom said by <a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/scatology" target="_blank">scatologists</a>) and I am compelled (not by the power of Christ)
to give it four out of five stars. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrnW7Zbn9vHRP9YDHD9GOAcrkFf-cnemn90pDNalPUD2eZI_jYDTbfern2_9_L0qPaS7yhbJfqgc3U4-uh-RRs3aEJ0Tk3-is86bJvhWtNXZLmJ0ne0v-EGJ0h8iEPh40xaeXRje6rAE1b/s1600/pentagram_by_maikgodau666.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrnW7Zbn9vHRP9YDHD9GOAcrkFf-cnemn90pDNalPUD2eZI_jYDTbfern2_9_L0qPaS7yhbJfqgc3U4-uh-RRs3aEJ0Tk3-is86bJvhWtNXZLmJ0ne0v-EGJ0h8iEPh40xaeXRje6rAE1b/s1600/pentagram_by_maikgodau666.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrnW7Zbn9vHRP9YDHD9GOAcrkFf-cnemn90pDNalPUD2eZI_jYDTbfern2_9_L0qPaS7yhbJfqgc3U4-uh-RRs3aEJ0Tk3-is86bJvhWtNXZLmJ0ne0v-EGJ0h8iEPh40xaeXRje6rAE1b/s200/pentagram_by_maikgodau666.jpg" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrnW7Zbn9vHRP9YDHD9GOAcrkFf-cnemn90pDNalPUD2eZI_jYDTbfern2_9_L0qPaS7yhbJfqgc3U4-uh-RRs3aEJ0Tk3-is86bJvhWtNXZLmJ0ne0v-EGJ0h8iEPh40xaeXRje6rAE1b/s1600/pentagram_by_maikgodau666.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrnW7Zbn9vHRP9YDHD9GOAcrkFf-cnemn90pDNalPUD2eZI_jYDTbfern2_9_L0qPaS7yhbJfqgc3U4-uh-RRs3aEJ0Tk3-is86bJvhWtNXZLmJ0ne0v-EGJ0h8iEPh40xaeXRje6rAE1b/s200/pentagram_by_maikgodau666.jpg" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrnW7Zbn9vHRP9YDHD9GOAcrkFf-cnemn90pDNalPUD2eZI_jYDTbfern2_9_L0qPaS7yhbJfqgc3U4-uh-RRs3aEJ0Tk3-is86bJvhWtNXZLmJ0ne0v-EGJ0h8iEPh40xaeXRje6rAE1b/s1600/pentagram_by_maikgodau666.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrnW7Zbn9vHRP9YDHD9GOAcrkFf-cnemn90pDNalPUD2eZI_jYDTbfern2_9_L0qPaS7yhbJfqgc3U4-uh-RRs3aEJ0Tk3-is86bJvhWtNXZLmJ0ne0v-EGJ0h8iEPh40xaeXRje6rAE1b/s200/pentagram_by_maikgodau666.jpg" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrnW7Zbn9vHRP9YDHD9GOAcrkFf-cnemn90pDNalPUD2eZI_jYDTbfern2_9_L0qPaS7yhbJfqgc3U4-uh-RRs3aEJ0Tk3-is86bJvhWtNXZLmJ0ne0v-EGJ0h8iEPh40xaeXRje6rAE1b/s1600/pentagram_by_maikgodau666.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrnW7Zbn9vHRP9YDHD9GOAcrkFf-cnemn90pDNalPUD2eZI_jYDTbfern2_9_L0qPaS7yhbJfqgc3U4-uh-RRs3aEJ0Tk3-is86bJvhWtNXZLmJ0ne0v-EGJ0h8iEPh40xaeXRje6rAE1b/s200/pentagram_by_maikgodau666.jpg" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrnW7Zbn9vHRP9YDHD9GOAcrkFf-cnemn90pDNalPUD2eZI_jYDTbfern2_9_L0qPaS7yhbJfqgc3U4-uh-RRs3aEJ0Tk3-is86bJvhWtNXZLmJ0ne0v-EGJ0h8iEPh40xaeXRje6rAE1b/s1600/pentagram_by_maikgodau666.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrnW7Zbn9vHRP9YDHD9GOAcrkFf-cnemn90pDNalPUD2eZI_jYDTbfern2_9_L0qPaS7yhbJfqgc3U4-uh-RRs3aEJ0Tk3-is86bJvhWtNXZLmJ0ne0v-EGJ0h8iEPh40xaeXRje6rAE1b/s1600/pentagram_by_maikgodau666.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrnW7Zbn9vHRP9YDHD9GOAcrkFf-cnemn90pDNalPUD2eZI_jYDTbfern2_9_L0qPaS7yhbJfqgc3U4-uh-RRs3aEJ0Tk3-is86bJvhWtNXZLmJ0ne0v-EGJ0h8iEPh40xaeXRje6rAE1b/s1600/pentagram_by_maikgodau666.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714783242384225356.post-10542014601162667732015-09-30T20:03:00.000-07:002015-10-11T15:07:23.634-07:00"Area 51" Review By Damien<div class="MsoNormal">
Hello loyal subjects, it is I, Damien, here to advise,
control, and direct. Via movie reviews. I watch the movies so you don’t have
to. And this week I watched “<a href="http://amzn.to/1Lf2K1D" target="_blank">Area 51</a>”, which is four bucks on Amazon strewing, and also available for free on Netflix. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And it’s overpriced. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="http://amzn.to/1Lf2K1D">Area 51</a> was written and directed by Oren Peli. If you google
“Oren Peli”<o:p></o:p></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-LR0c4Zcq7KORdQ3pn8aoMrJl85jN-UxKzvNC3tCStWsSsyrITgNmXLabSDl4cpTndYqhEyXmAiHpgW3sLXvlSi1SrV-pxokOlaItIJx5BC7vzGnfRzfmT8JY5nF96kIw7SIPnnoCghlD/s1600/oren.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-LR0c4Zcq7KORdQ3pn8aoMrJl85jN-UxKzvNC3tCStWsSsyrITgNmXLabSDl4cpTndYqhEyXmAiHpgW3sLXvlSi1SrV-pxokOlaItIJx5BC7vzGnfRzfmT8JY5nF96kIw7SIPnnoCghlD/s200/oren.jpg" width="135" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'm Oren (duh)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
you will instantly see a picture of a man who looks like he is
named “Oren”. He is worth fifty million dollars and nothing in this review will
have any effect on him. He is the writer
and director of “Paranormal Activity”, which, for a found footage movie, did
not suck. <br />
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<br /></div>
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Area 51 sucked. But let’s not focus on the negative. We have
all eternity for that (Preview- You and Me minus Me watching “You Me and Dupree”
for 100 years- with occasional breaks for forcible sodomy). Area 51 did some
things right. It didn’t overuse certain horror tropes. For example, at no point
in this movie did <a href="http://www.ign.com/articles/2014/08/11/the-many-deaths-of-sean-bean" target="_blank">Sean Bean die</a>. He just wished he was dead while he watched it.
I assume that this movie was footage found by Sean Bean. It makes it more entertaining to imagine him watching it. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So aside from that, it was all pretty much what you would
expect minus anything remotely scary. </div>
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<a name='more'></a><br /></div>
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There were teenagers with portable
cameras who had a plan to break into Area 51. This was inspired by their friend
(played by Reid Warner), who was clearly under Alien Control the entire movie.
Through a series of <s>time filling drivel </s> compelling escapades the teen (or young
adults-it doesn’t matter) make it to Area 51 and the third act of the movie
begins. This is the only portion of the film that has special effects. Nothing remotely
scary here either, just a lot of alien technology. I kept thinking that at some
point the teens would come across scientists dissecting an alien, a live alien,
and that the film would end with the teens being captured by an alien that they
set free and they would find themselves on a dissection table. Or whatever a
table that dissections take place on is called. </div>
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SPOILER-
that doesn’t happen.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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In fact, the ending
is simply that, it’s the end of ninety minutes of nothing. No big twist, scare,
or fulfillment of any subtle promise made earlier in the film. In similar
films, like the Blair Witch Project, the last thirty seconds of the film justify
the first ninety minutes in a spectacular way. Not so much here. This movie
would have been better if the first ninety minutes were the characters driving
to area 51 while watching “Paranormal Activity” on an iPad. At least Sean Bean
would have seen something entertaining. <o:p></o:p></div>
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On a side note- there was one scene in the movie where a
woman’s breasts were thrust in front of a camera. It reminded me of the scene
in “Airplane”, where for no reason breasts filled the camera. I could not help
but think that somewhere on the west coast, the day before this scene was shot
(for Area 51), this woman had a conversation with a friend, perhaps a lover,
where she said “tomorrow I’m going to be shooting a scene for a major movie! It’s
being done by the director of Paranormal!” Maybe she called her dad and told
him. She was not credited in this film. <o:p></o:p></div>
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One Star. One Star for crushing the dreams of this
uncredited actress, you sick bastards. That was the only angst this movie
caused. And we don’t even know her name. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Don''t forget to worship me. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Damien, out. </div>
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<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_ht54M9YEbO2Gae7Nqqe9URxvxsm2ZrpySRsx29Ns7wSkaGKCRjgm8UctcxLZZLrRHxrtjw1NE08Boc0aYTqMTsLQnqpFpKzURSO2sV5_SkfOtsxxDvczCFnJhmsKTDh70T_S5aftx1p8/s1600/one+star.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_ht54M9YEbO2Gae7Nqqe9URxvxsm2ZrpySRsx29Ns7wSkaGKCRjgm8UctcxLZZLrRHxrtjw1NE08Boc0aYTqMTsLQnqpFpKzURSO2sV5_SkfOtsxxDvczCFnJhmsKTDh70T_S5aftx1p8/s200/one+star.png" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"One Star"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0Nevada, USA38.8026097 -116.4193890000000232.4451257 -126.74653750000002 45.1600937 -106.09224050000003tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714783242384225356.post-69738877113870772522015-09-29T20:14:00.001-07:002015-10-11T15:20:53.466-07:00Countdown to October!<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">x</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16pt;">It's
almost October, my demonic darlings. Just one more day of (yawn)
September! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 16.0pt;">A
fellow horror aficionado challenged my to name my top 5 FAVORITE and top 5
SCARIEST horror movies. It's easier said than done, fiendish friends. I'm
working on them... and I'll share them soon...but I don't know if I can top
hers! She kindly offered to share them, so here they are.....<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 16.0pt;">"Submitted
for your consideration (in no particular order):<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Favorites:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 16.0pt;">1.
<a href="http://amzn.to/1VMOVfE">The Sentinel</a> – 1977 (Burgess Meredith is scary without having to even
open his mouth. Also, Chris Sarandon is in this, he’s been my secret
boyfriend for almost 30 years….)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 16.0pt;">2.
<a href="http://amzn.to/1K2L0EJ">Fright Night</a> – Original, with Chris Sarandon (see above)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 16.0pt;">3.
Salem’s Lot – Great adaptation<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 16.0pt;">4.
<a href="http://amzn.to/1K2L6fH">The Shining</a> – All work and no play…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 16.0pt;">5.
<a href="http://amzn.to/1VMP42P">The Hunger</a> (Catherine Deneuve, David Bowie and Susan Sarandon!)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Scariest:
these were picked based on how much they scared me the first time I
watched them<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 16.0pt;">1.
<a href="http://amzn.to/1R65Oka">Alone in the Dark</a> – 1982 (Forget Ripley’s Believe it or Not, Jack Palance is
one scary pyscho!)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 16.0pt;">2.
<a href="http://amzn.to/1VMPgiy">Nightmare on Elm Street</a> – literally couldn’t sleep after this one.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 16.0pt;">3.
Silence of the Lambs – too real, psychotics are scary as hell<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 16.0pt;">4.
<a href="http://amzn.to/1VMPiqK">The Exorcist</a>. Obvs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 16.0pt;">5.
<a href="http://amzn.to/1VMPlme">Children of the Corn</a> – maybe cheesy pick but any movie that has a character
named Malachai is naturally scary.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Ok,
so this was WAY harder than I thought and there are glaring omissions, such as
almost every Vincent Price/Poe match up. Most of John Carpenters flicks
and a few of Cronenberg’s. Almost every movie based on Stephen King novel
with rare exception. And on and on and on… <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Now
to go watch some scary movies!!"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Thanks
Killer Kris! I gotta watch Alone in the Dark now! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 16.0pt;">How
about all you guys and ghouls? What are YOUR favorites?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 16.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<!--EndFragment--></div>
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❤️, Creepy Carrie</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjohtSG8TwwnJ6dwFYpU93BRfeStnrfD0946dME2DlNlogiZAv0TJFvjwA6Zttsyjt2pWUVE0D_Q18BMT52c53u0oN1b5x6dvIoWVMYcqVM_S1PH9RHZgDJ_t8uD25iCYJw5a8SBFH_5xg5/s640/blogger-image--1626530710.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjohtSG8TwwnJ6dwFYpU93BRfeStnrfD0946dME2DlNlogiZAv0TJFvjwA6Zttsyjt2pWUVE0D_Q18BMT52c53u0oN1b5x6dvIoWVMYcqVM_S1PH9RHZgDJ_t8uD25iCYJw5a8SBFH_5xg5/s640/blogger-image--1626530710.jpg" /></a></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714783242384225356.post-21669026170232507432015-09-27T17:26:00.000-07:002015-10-12T08:12:16.691-07:00All Cheerleaders DieDid you love "Heathers"? And "The Craft"? All those kind of crappy movies about teenagers from the '90s? (Not the '80s... those were better!) If you answered yes, then "<a href="http://amzn.to/1VMOx0U">All Cheerleaders Die</a>" will not be a total waste of your time. It's entertaining, it has a sense of humor, and super cheesy, low budget special effects.<br />
The basic plot is this: Head cheerleader is dating captain of the football team. She's a real B, and he's a real D-bag. She dies in an accident. Her former friend decides to ruin the epic senior year for the mean, dead cheerleader's boyfriend and the rest of the cheerleaders/football team. Her rather innocent attempt at revenge takes a wrong turn, of course, and the whole crew of cheerleaders are in a horrendeous accident. Luckily, there's this weird witchy girl who is kind of obsessed with one of the cheerleader. Let's just say, she wants her to "come back" to her. Are you catching my drift? <br />
I don't want to give TOO much away, but honestly, you'll see each step coming, if you have ever watched a movie about witches, zombies, or teenagers. Still, it's a fun, slightly gory, movie that does not get too slow or take itself too seriously. I give it 2.5 stars, and hey... it's streaming on Netflix and <a href="http://amzn.to/1VMOx0U">Amazon</a> RIGHT NOW! It also has a pretty good soundtrack, which wins it points in my book. Here's the trailer... <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFrzoOlSyBM">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFrzoOlSyBM</a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWGar2v9bnp2l0zqhFg6xx7g-OfT6ahX_ePOQmW7cgapD43SLPP9OpnnK_VU7dhjITguEUymuLpfUU6iqekePd_C81io8-7pZmjV2C8RHZSatDOwSPqCo7lpdMx7GiTYkqWqIw9jcuk_El/s1600/all-cheerleaders-die-image.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWGar2v9bnp2l0zqhFg6xx7g-OfT6ahX_ePOQmW7cgapD43SLPP9OpnnK_VU7dhjITguEUymuLpfUU6iqekePd_C81io8-7pZmjV2C8RHZSatDOwSPqCo7lpdMx7GiTYkqWqIw9jcuk_El/s320/all-cheerleaders-die-image.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
Enjoy!<br />
Creepy Carrie
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</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714783242384225356.post-90025981456493731352015-09-27T13:07:00.001-07:002015-09-27T13:07:19.142-07:00Hey there!Hey there internet!<br />
I know what you're thinking... the world needs more blogs about horror movies, right? I thought so too!<br />
It's almost October, and here at my house, it's our favorite time of year. Halloween costumes are being designed, decorations being dragged out of the basement, and best of all..... ALL the horror movies on TV and your favorite streaming platforms!!<br />
So, in honor of the birth of this blog, and our favorite holiday, we will have 31 DAYS OF HORROR, starting, you guessed it... October 1st.<br />
We are accepting guest bloggers so if YOU are a horror fan, send me your review! Your favorite, or scariest, or funniest, or WORST horror movie.... we will cover it all.<br />
<br />
<br />
Your favorite Damsel of Darkness,<br />
<br />
Creepy CarrieUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0