Thirsty Thursday!

Let's all raise a glass to the Vampire genre! Here are our top 5 favorites... And no, no Interview with a Vampire.  Tom Cruise gives me the willies, and not in a good way.  And no Bram Stoker either.  Love it, but points off for being long as fuck.  It's called editing.  

5. Fright Night

The original wins here, but the remake was shockingly decent.  But let's focus on the '85 incarnation, shall we?  Basic set up: A teenage boy notices his new neighbor sprouting fangs and biting his date.  He tries to convince his pal and a washed up tv host (of "Fright Night", natch) to help him.  Needless to say, it's hard to convince your friends, let alone strangers, that there is an alarmingly good-looking vampire living next door to you and to help you kill him with a stake.  I love this movie.  Chris Sarandon is awesome as the bloodsucking lead, as is Roddy McDowell as the old TV host, but in my book, Stephen Geoffreys wins this whole fucking movie.  What a weirdo he is, and I mean that in the best possible way.  His creaky, manic voice and odd laugh, and just generally off-putting vibe make him the perfect '80s horror dweeb. If you don't agree, watch 976-EVIL and Fright Night in a double feature.  What makes him extra awesome and bizarre, is that he went on to have a successful career in porn! 

4. The Hunger

Have a craving for something a little more....adult?  The Hunger is about vampires, but it's kind of about the fear of aging, or loss of good looks or something like that.  All I have to say is this: Catherine Deneuve and Susan Sarandon get it on. Also David Bowie.  To paraphrase Gaga: Jawlines for days.  Hot stuff. If you are into pasty blondes.  Aren't we all? 

3. Let the Right One In

Oh, this movie. This.  This fucking movie.  I. Love. This. Movie.  It does not move quickly.  But watch it till the last frame.  You won't be sorry.  

Yeah it's Swedish, so yes, there are subtitles, but don't be a philistine. And the American remake "Let Me In" was not as good. And I'm not just being a remake snob.  

The basic story is: Oskar is a weird boy with an unfortunate haircut who is lonely, his parents are separated, and he gets teased at school.  His new neighbor (notice a theme here?) is a weird girl named Eli, who lives with her dad, and doesn't seem to go to school or really ever leave her apartment during the day.  They become best friends. It gets weird.  Then it gets amazing. Close your eyes right now and picture the bully from your childhood. Got it?  Ok, watch this movie.  That is all. 

2. The Lost Boys

This may be in my top 5 favorite movies of all time.  Keifer Sutherland, both the Coreys, an absolutely amazing soundtrack, the dude who played Bill from Bill and Ted, and Jason Patric in his fucking prime.  My god, I want to go watch it right now.  

Two brothers and their mom move in with their taxidermist grandpa in a small, weird town where people seem to go missing frequently. The younger brother (Corey Haim, may he rest in peace), makes friends, sort of, with the Frog Brothers (one of whom is Corey Feldman, sadly still with us on this mortal plane), who warn him that the town is full of vampires.  The older brother, played by a smoking' hot Jason Patric (still alive? I have no idea), makes friends with a different crew.... who only go out at night.... and live in a cave.... and are led by a very pale and ominous Keifer Sutherland.  You can see where this is all going.  Anyway, yadda yadda, Dianne Wiest, Edward Hermann, the '80s were amazing, amen. Watch. 

1.  Near Dark

Yes.  Near Dark. Is my number one pick... my all time favorite in the vampire genre.  Directed by Catherine Bigelow, who is awesome, this is an amazing movie.  Adrian Pasdar stars as a young guy who falls for a thin, pale blond.  She seems to be traveling with a pack of hooligans, possibly against her will. Yep, just traveling around in a big RV with, oh, you know.... Lance Hendrickson, and Jenette Goldstein.  What? Yes.  If you are a fan of the Alien movies you'll understand.  Oh, and also Bill Paxton, in a tour de force.  I don't ever want to see Bill Paxton act in anything again, unless he's maniacally screaming and covered in blood. Truth.  Oh and also, the creepiest child actor ever to walk the Earth, Joshua Miller.  You might remember him as the creepy little brother in River's Edge.  Or the creepy little brother in Teen Witch.  Fun fact: He's Jason Patric's real life (creepy?) little brother.  Adrian Pasdar foolishly gets involved with the thin, pale blond.  Men.... when will they learn? Brunettes, boys....brunettes. 

That's all, my bloody valentines!! Did I miss your favorite?  What's in YOUR top 5? 

Hugs and kisses....

~Creepy Carrie

A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night.... and she doesn't have to use her mace!

I love the vampire genre.  It’s sexy and terrifying… a thoroughly appealing combination.  I’m also a sucker for aesthetics…. I love a movie that LOOKS really good.  Add an interesting female character whose existence goes beyond victim, and I’m totally in.

A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night combines all three aspects (and has a cool title to boot) and is streaming on Netflix RIGHT NOW.  Or you get it on blu-ray here .

This movie was written and directed by an Iranian woman, AnaLily Amirpour, which makes it even cooler, because if you are a horror fan, you know how rare female writers and directors are.  It is shot in gorgeous black and white, and looks like a Fellini film, it is bleak and beautiful.  It’s Iranian, so yes, there are subtitles, but put on your big kid pants and deal with it.  I know you can read.  

The story takes place in the mythical Persian town of Bad City (interesting side note, it was actually filmed in California, as I imagine it might have been difficult for an Iranian woman to film a vampire movie in Iran).  Aresh is a young man, working a shit job, and taking care of his junkie father.  His mother is dead.   His father owes money to a local dealer/pimp, who breaks absolutely no stereotypes: he sports grade-A douchebag facial hair, wears a track suit, has a tattoo that says “Sex” across his chest, and has an apartment filled with fish tanks, dumbbells, a drum set and suitcases full of drugs and cash. 

Dominic Rains, following the rule that every drug dealer must own a track suit

He’s a real piece of shit who we see smacking women around and making nasty threats to Aresh and his dad.  The pimp takes Aresh’s beloved car when his father can’t pay his debt. 

Also wandering around in the gloom of Bad City is a young woman in a hijab, dressed all in black.  The pimp picks her up, and…. Let’s just say the scene is quite satisfying. 

I don’t want to give it all away, because you should really watch this, but I will say that the paths of Aresh and the young women cross, and it doesn’t unfold exactly how you’d expect.  There are elements of horror, along with a sweetly romantic vibe, and a kick-ass soundtrack of Persian pop music.  It made me think just briefly of Let The Right One In, with older protagonists. 

So, let’s review…. Vampires, cool artsy cinematography, good music, female writer/director, and you get to impress your friends by telling them you watched a foreign film!  It’s not super gory so if that’s a must for you, then grow up, take a night off from straight up gore for gore’s sake, and watch it anyway.  Did I mention it’s on Netflix? No excuses.

~Creepy Carrie